abundance

I have been gifted with abundance in my life these last few weeks.

Is it from the daily mutterings, the discipline like yoga to mold my mind into the unfamiliar space? I realized this evening that perhaps every wall need not be covered in furniture; I will realize tomorrow something else, equally obvious, equally profound. It is the way of time when compressed, and vacation is almost over.

I am therefore unbending my creaky fingers, letting the water built up behind the dam of my arms (curled tight around me) spill over, trickle and finally gush into another life...or two.

It is like breathing again, after swimming underwater for a long, long time.

inhale, exhale, blessed be

and amen.

deleting

I have spent a month deleting,
clearing space in the calendar once jam-packed with notations
of the last job,
the last crew,
the last team with whom I sweated and toiled,
the last dear people with whom I cried--
it seems that the hard times are the ones that bring us together
(don't ever miss a funeral)
--it seems I needed the time,
time to create space where there was none
closure where cupboards were left empty
but swinging open...
ghosts of echoing footsteps left hanging.
I have spent a month deleting
sweeping dust out of corners
seeking leftover raisins and cheerios and
sometimes
the odd,
unopened box,
and now I am stripped
naked
exposed for what I am
standing still
breeze ruffling what little hair I've got
and in the breath of silence the new beginning roars
and comes to greet me.

deadheading

...has nothing to do with tiedye t-shirts and long hair and smoking of alternatives to tobacco. It does, however, relate to weed(s), via gardening. Apparently, it is the removal of "spent" blooms on flowering things, especially roses. So "deadheading" the roses means snipping off wilted roses in a specially prescribed manner, the better to encourage the plant to make more roses, which look and smell pretty. I've been asking for advice from neighbors. I've been using said advice. It works. It works well and I get to feel useful, wandering around the yard at early hours with clippers in my hand. I have to make sure I don't get overenthusiastic, because it's so satisfying.

I wonder what else would be better off if I trimmed the dead weight?