deep safety
I find since I came to Canada I'm getting soft.
Certainly not soft on weather--I can honestly find twenty below zero (F) perfectly good weather for going out in.
Certainly not soft professionally--I have worked with more passion and heart and dedication here than ever before, and have agonised more over my work here than anywhere.
Certainly not soft of heart...and yet yes, soft of heart.
While I have become more sure than ever that the fate of my heart rests entirely in my hands, I have also learned to make choices about it, and here it is safe to choose to leave my heart open, door unlocked.
When four Mounties were killed in the line of duty in Alberta, the whole country went into mourning.
When I heard about a school shooting I felt tears rise to the surface, tears for people I did not know in a place I had never visited. Unthinkable tears in New York, Chicago, even Boston stream down my face here; strangers who refuse eye contact hold each other in their hearts and thoughts and prayers and dreams, and those intangibles move people and change the planet, this little corner first. The choice is to act out of love, not out of fear. The choice is to act for the good of the whole, not the good of the scared. The choice is to look for the longer term, the bigger picture, the people not at the table.
People are not always nice here. I still lock my door; I still lock my car. People make mistakes, people are intentionally difficult...but when there is tragedy here, it is tragedy. Loss is loss, and death is death. Here there is a plainness about the things that really seem to matter--life, death, love, loss. I appreciate that in a people. I appreciate the strength underneath, too. There's a deeper safety in this than is ever found in locking gates and battening down hatches. It's a safety that invites growth, and I am unfurling into it.
I find since I came to Canada I'm getting soft, and I am grateful.
Certainly not soft on weather--I can honestly find twenty below zero (F) perfectly good weather for going out in.
Certainly not soft professionally--I have worked with more passion and heart and dedication here than ever before, and have agonised more over my work here than anywhere.
Certainly not soft of heart...and yet yes, soft of heart.
While I have become more sure than ever that the fate of my heart rests entirely in my hands, I have also learned to make choices about it, and here it is safe to choose to leave my heart open, door unlocked.
When four Mounties were killed in the line of duty in Alberta, the whole country went into mourning.
When I heard about a school shooting I felt tears rise to the surface, tears for people I did not know in a place I had never visited. Unthinkable tears in New York, Chicago, even Boston stream down my face here; strangers who refuse eye contact hold each other in their hearts and thoughts and prayers and dreams, and those intangibles move people and change the planet, this little corner first. The choice is to act out of love, not out of fear. The choice is to act for the good of the whole, not the good of the scared. The choice is to look for the longer term, the bigger picture, the people not at the table.
People are not always nice here. I still lock my door; I still lock my car. People make mistakes, people are intentionally difficult...but when there is tragedy here, it is tragedy. Loss is loss, and death is death. Here there is a plainness about the things that really seem to matter--life, death, love, loss. I appreciate that in a people. I appreciate the strength underneath, too. There's a deeper safety in this than is ever found in locking gates and battening down hatches. It's a safety that invites growth, and I am unfurling into it.
I find since I came to Canada I'm getting soft, and I am grateful.
posted by raj at
1:43 PM
